Hormones, What IF Project Video & Face.book

I had just been thinking to myself that I was doing pretty ok with the drugs & my hormone levels have been in check. That is, until my husband said something insensitive last night... and I blew my top.

I mean, I screamed. I don't usually scream. And I was screaming. It was ugly. At one point, I felt like I almost had one of those out of body experiences where I was looking at myself screaming, thinking who is this person???

So when that happened, I started explaining that even though I'm still upset, I really think it's the hormones and I can't quite control it. It's all fine now. I had to tell B that my evil twin sister isn't welcome to come around anymore. He seemed to like that.

One more week for my pregnancy test. Next Friday morning. It's all such a balancing act with continous mind games, isn't it?

And, have you all seen the What IF project video? It's remarkable. What courage this person had. Miriam/Keiko from Hannah Wept Sarah Laughed just put it all out there. And I thought, if she has the courage, then I can say something about it on face.book.

Here's what I posted this week:

as follow up to National Inferlity Awareness Week last week, this amazing woman made an incredible video. Hope it touches you too.

I wanted to add: B and I have been waiting 2 1/2 years now for our miracle. But I couldn't. It's ok though. I think it was enough a lot for me to have put this out there. And you know what? Two people have commented and said it did touch them. Nice, huh?

Hope you watch it if you haven't already!

Is it Psychosomatic?

I've been tired since Thurs. Since the IUI. It has to be psychosomatic, right? I can't instantly be tired...

It could be the drugs. I'm taking pro.metrium 2x/day. Does that make your hormone levels out of whack to make you tired?

I haven't been biking to work to be safe. I haven't really exercised. I've walked home from work a couple of times - 1.5 miles but was tired by the end.

Last night, I walked about 20 mins to meet a friend for dinner and got tired and had to take a taxi for the rest of the 7 blocks! That never happens to me. I ran 10 miles twice a few weeks ago!!!

I had no energy this weekend and caught up on my DVR. I even motivated to go to my friend's yard sale Sat morning and after my shower was too tired - at 11am!!! Nuts.

Please, please let me be pregnant... it can't all be psychosomatic, can it?

Officially in a 2ww

We had our 3rd IUI yesterday. And I'm feeling (very) hopeful. In fact, I'm going to assume for now that I'm pregnant (and hope my world doesn't crash in 2 weeks).

We've always said we'd do 4 IUIs and then re-consider our options so maybe knowing we have 'one more' helps. Our doctor, though, actually said he wants to talk about next steps since this is #3. Not sure what that means but I'm setting up an appt in this 2ww because I want to know our next plans if this one doesn't work.

I'm not running the 1/2 marathon this weekend. I'm abstaining from my beloved bik.ram yoga (hot yoga) and I'm not riding my bike to work anymore (for now).

I slept 10 hours last night. 10 hours!! I'm going to assume I'm pregnant for now.

(I know, I know, it's probably impossible to be pregnant this quickly much less feel the side effects).

I also said I wouldn't tell my parents about this cycle, telling my husband "no good could come of telling them" and of course, I broke down and told them. (The 1/2 marathon is in their 'hood and I just couldn't say "I haven't trained enough for it" because they know about my 2 recent 10 mile runs...).

And I told them, please, to not get excited because we don't know and it's harder for me when they (and by they, I mean my mom) gets excited... but then she proceeded to say "Glad you lost weight but maybe you'll gain it all back" and "Maybe next year when you do the 1/2 marathon, I can babysit". She was trying but couldn't help it.

Ok, so she's getting carried away... which is what I didn't want. (But if I'm going to assume I'm going to be pregnant, then why can't they??? If I can get excited about pregnancy, they should be able to too).

Fri, May 14 is my blood test. And of course I already bought an early home pregnancy test to do either 1-2 days before that. We fly out for a long weekend to St. Petersburg, FL for B's cousin's wedding, so I'm hoping it will be a celebratory weekend or a much needed trip away.

Here's to a peaceful 2 ww!