Wednesday, August 1, 2012

IVF #2 - Here We Go!

We started. This past Monday with meds. and Meno.pur. Double dozing on Meno.pur this time to more high quality eggs. Still 40% chance.

Big difference this time is that we're going to transfer 2.

We transferred 1 for IVF #1 with the ectopic and transferred 1 each for our 2 FETs. Schnothing on those.

Other big differences this time:
1. Daily meditation - I've been pretty good about doing 10 min quiet meditation almost every day.
2. Acupuncture - Started last week and giving this a shot.

I want to try to pull out all the stops for this. The other potential major decision is that I will likely need a very long break before thinking about this with the possibility of looking at adoption. I'm not closing myself off to this altogether but it has felt exhausting to continue to put energy into something that isn't getting us anywhere. I feel like we continue to live in a home just waiting to be filled with children and I can't take this anymore.

So, I'm trying to be at peace with it all. And I think I am for the most part. The thought of continuing cycle after cycle is what depresses me. The only hard part that remains is knowing how badly my husband wants biological children. So, I need to continue to weigh all of that, but I also know my mental health cannot continue to take the kind of hit it's been taking.

Wish us luck!