Saturday, August 28, 2010

In My Mind I'm Gone to Caro.lina...

South Carolina, that is!  A much deserved and anticipated vacation that we planned in January of this year. We're off to Ed.isto Island, an hour south of Charleston, SC to share a house with some friends for the week.

I'm hoping for some major relaxation since I pushed it too hard going back to work this week after fibroid surgery 10 days ago.

Enjoy the last days of summer!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Anything Can Happen If You Let It

A couple of weeks ago we took my 6 year old nephew to see Ma.ry Pop.pins - and what a treat it was!

In fact, Ma.ry Pop.pins sent me an email yesterday, which is adorable (but for some reason I can't save the middle of this which bascially wants you to go to the and twi.tter pages):

I couldn't get the song "Anything Can Happen if You Let it" out of my head yesterday. And it made me sooooo happy and sooooo positive & hopeful.

The play and all its songs are so whimsical, carefree and brought me back to a time in childhood when you can truly believe that anything is possible!

Pardon my over-optimism today but I'll share it with you in the hopes of infusing some happy thoughts into your day today!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Why Does it Seem Like Everyone's Child is Turning 1 Now?

Gosh, I thought I was doing ok this week. Recovering from fibroid surgery isn't great and I'm still not back to myself. It's only been a little over a week...

It's been over 2 1/2 years of us trying to conceive with a lot of heartache throughout. And at the same time, this week, it seems like everyone is turning one. And it's painful to see.

It's painful to think that our child should at least be that age. That's how long we've been wanting him/her to be here with us. Why is it that between postings and cards in the mail for birthday party invitations, I am feeling jealous... and left out. Left out of this motherhood club. Parenthood.

Yet, this week I've felt hope. I've felt hope in a way that I haven't in a really long time. And I'm scared because I've known hope before, and it's failed me each time. But I want to think this is different. I've heard of at least two people who were able to get pregnant after the removal of a fibroid.

And, God, I hope that's us too. Please let it be. I can't stand being jealous and left out anymore.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Road to Recovery

Five days is all it's taken for me to feel normal again. Unbelieveable. Can't believe they can cut me, take out a 4cm fibroid and I'm pretty ok 5 days later. Thanks be to God... or the powers of the universe!

Thursday, the day before surgery was probably the hardest. "De-toxing"  - those laxatives were NOT fun. Nor was not really being able to eat solids. I was hungry by 9:30am!

Friday went ok. The hospital was... hospitable. I only got really nervous as they were prepping me and I tried to throw up, at which time they said 'glad we did the bowel prep'. Ewww. I don't remember anything after that; they apparently gave me some 'calming' medicine.

I remember Friday being all about mor.phine and sleep... one hour at a time because they kept waking me to take my vitals.

Mor.phine was still my friend on Saturday, until they replaced it with its cousin Turning over was hard, and I considered it a great feat when I went to pee for the first time, and I took a walk down the hall.

I went home Sun afternoon and haven't really needed much pain meds, luckily & gratefully. I've taken before going to bed to make sure I get a restful sleep but I haven't even needed much ad.vil during the day. Yay!

Thanks for all your support, thoughts, prayers and checking in on me!

Here's to positive feelings, a journey forward on this road to recovery!

ps - I also pooped today for the first time, which I'm happy about because it's supposedly a big deal :)

Monday, August 9, 2010

Recognition & Friday Freak-Out

I can't believe it! Stirrup Queens recognized me on her (300th/200th) Friday Blog Round-Up with my post on liking kids! It was almost surreal to see my blog name listed there!

I was surprised... mostly because I felt funny posting it, because it's taken me an awfully long time to even remotely feel this way. And, as I probably figured, not many people commented from the Round-up. I wouldn't have thought so, even though I was secretly hoping for a few new readers.

It's a touchy subject and most/many of us are just not there, hardly at all. One of the things we struggle with a lot is feeling happy around other people's children.

This weekend ended my 2 weekend time with kids - we had my 6 year old nephew almost the whole weekend, taking him to see Ma.ry Pop.pins at the theater and then the next day to the park & zoo. We had tons of fun with him... and we were also completely & utterly exhausted when he left. And he's a good kid.  It made me wonder what we'd be getting ourselves into when we finally do get on with our family building!

I'm also starting to freak out about the fibroid surgery this Friday. In looking through my paperwork last night, I didn't realize that I needed to be on a liquid diet on Thursday - and take laxatives starting at 4pm - every 15 mins for 2 hours. Gross!!!!!!!!

I'm so not looking forward to this AT ALL.

Ok, now I know I have to stop being such a baby about it and I know the end result will be fine but this all stinks!

Do you have any magical advice on getting me mentally prepared for this? Any post-op must do's/do not's?? I could really use them!