Gosh, I thought I was doing ok this week. Recovering from fibroid surgery isn't great and I'm still not back to myself. It's only been a little over a week...
It's been over 2 1/2 years of us trying to conceive with a lot of heartache throughout. And at the same time, this week, it seems like everyone is turning one. And it's painful to see.
It's painful to think that our child should at least be that age. That's how long we've been wanting him/her to be here with us. Why is it that between face.book postings and cards in the mail for birthday party invitations, I am feeling jealous... and left out. Left out of this motherhood club. Parenthood.
Yet, this week I've felt hope. I've felt hope in a way that I haven't in a really long time. And I'm scared because I've known hope before, and it's failed me each time. But I want to think this is different. I've heard of at least two people who were able to get pregnant after the removal of a fibroid.
And, God, I hope that's us too. Please let it be. I can't stand being jealous and left out anymore.
1 month ago