Sunday, February 3, 2019

Sibling Journey - My Sister-in-Law Offers to Carry for Us!

It's pretty incredible.

I got back on Mon, Jan 14 from spending the weekend with N, as we grieved the loss of the miscarriage and the experience we were going to have together. We also spent an amazing time as a family - with her daughter, who turned 19 that weekend, with her other 3 kids and her parents, and with friends of mine who were visiting.

It was an interesting coincidence that the 19 year old was celebrating her birthday in Miami, my friends were visiting there, so we decided to all meet there and that I'd go with N and her daughter to Naples where the rest of the kids are, the 3 of us would go back to Sarasota, where they live and then my 19 year old "niece" took me to Tampa where I flew out and had lunch with her beforehand.

So in that respect it was a great time.

Oh, and I got to fall asleep by a pool in the sun and have the best ceviche ever. Yay.

But coming back, I think B and I were a bit heavy on starting next steps. I was realizing that he hadn't even started and I think he was having trouble moving on as well. We were going to contact our agency to get to next steps to find someone new and hadn't yet.

And then that Friday evening, B's brother and his wife called us wanting to talk and we thought it could either be one of two things - they are pregnant or they are offering to be pregnant for us... and it was the latter.

We were floored. What an offer.

To have had 3 people we know now offer is amazing (we actually had two others offer but it didn't go very far). How incredible.

B was teary the whole time we were talking with them, and I was emotional too.

K and I had had conversations like this before. She had wanted to offer the first time around but they weren't sure they were done having kids and then she was going to offer when N offered first so I think they thought "we've got to let them know ASAP before we lose the opportunity again". So, I had gotten teary with her in the past over this.

We sent them some info over the weekend and then had some conversations that Monday about some of the tougher aspects of being a surrogate and by Monday night they were completely on board and K already had her OBGYN appt on Jan 25.

So it's moving forward and we are hopeful we can do an embryo transfer with them this summer. Yay!

And while I'm hopeful and optimistic, I realize I'm still grieving the loss of the experience with N. She's the closest thing I have to a sister and I really wanted that delivery room experience with her and being able to be completely intimate with her growing belly. So my therapist helped me work through that... and N and I decided we needed a reset and planned a trip. We're going to Cartagena at the end of Feb!