After our 3rd IUI in April/May in which I got pregnant for the 2nd time - and miscarried at 5 1/2 weeks for the 2nd time, I needed time.
I couldn't hear about every cute thing these kids did. I didn't want to see families at church or hear about how the nursery needs to grow. I couldn't be near parks. Baseball games with kids even made me sad.
It helped that my mom noticed and limited talk about our nephews. It helped to retreat and do my yo.ga. It helped to go on a trip with my best friend - without her kid. It helped to heal.
And I think I'm back. I've been excited to see my nephews again in the last couple of weeks. I quickly saw them Wed night, I'll be seeing them today to go to the pool and again next weekend to see Ma.ry Pop.pins.
If you haven't read Lily's book Infertile Inspiration at The Infertile Mind, please do. I've gone back and read it several times now. The statement on page 8 (if you download the book into pdf format) says:
That really resonates with me. I have great children in my life. I remember the adults in my childhood who made an impact. I want to be that person in children's lives who can make an impact. I'm ready to do that again.
Last night, I kept my best friend's toddler over at our place and I can't wait for him to wake up this morning. He is so cute and so much fun! We took him to the park last night, we'll take him again this morning. He makes lion noises when I ask him what his favorite animal is... (I think he really just likes the noise, not necessarily the animal!)
So, hopefully I'm back. Back to liking kids. Back to hearing what cute things they do. Back to taking them to the park or pool. Back to being the adult who can make an impact in another child's life, simply by being with them.