Monday, July 26, 2010

Giving the Benefit of the Doubt

Oh, haven't we learned the importance of this golden rule in all of our relationships? Don't jump to conclusions... give people the benefit of the doubt? Especially to those who we know love us???

So, then why is this so difficult to actually do?

I learned this week... I learned once again to extend this grace to others. And in particular, to my mother-in-law.

I've been wanting us to be closer, and I've been disappointed somewhat by her lack of communication with me about everything IF related. When I first found out about the size of my fibroid and scheduling the surgery last week, I, of course, called my mom, and then a few days later I thought, you know, I ought to let her know too, the same as I would my own mom.

So, I wrote her an email on Friday along with other news, though the biggest one was my upcoming surgery. She wrote back but did not comment at all on my surgery. That lack of communication had my wheels spinning all weekend long...

Why can't we be closer?
Why wouldn't she have mentioned anything?
Did I give her too much information?
Is she uncomfortable with me sharing too much detail?
Is she just trying to be a good mother-in-law and give me my space?

I just didn't get it. And as I questioned these things with my husband last night, the phone rang. It was her.

It was her asking if she and my father-in-law could come over and help take care of me after the surgery.

Wow. Just wow.

Why didn't I give her the benefit of the doubt? And better yet, I learned from this and I know from now on that I will. Because I know she loves me.


  1. What a wonderful reminder! Thank you for this post! I am so glad that your MIL came through for you.

  2. It's so nice of her to take the time to be personal and call asking how to help with your surgery, I'm glad she did. I'm glad as well she did that for you.

  3. Wow! This story just about moved me to tears. What an incredible blessing that they have offered to come help you recover post-surgery.

  4. Yes, she does love you. I hope you take her up on the offer. It would definitely bring you closer.

    All the best for your surgery!

  5. MIL's sure are difficult! But, hey, she pulled through. It must be great to know that she is watching out for you and truly cares. Thanks for sharing the story!

  6. oh girl that is GREAT... I knew she loves you...they just have a different way of communicating... that's awesome... I know that they will take very good care of you!!!

  7. Don't you love it when people surprise you & prove you wrong in these situations. Thinking of you & praying everything goes smoothly!

  8. It is so nice when people surprise you just when a glimpse of doubt sinks in. Glad to hear your in-laws are supporting you.

  9. Here from ICLW....I always think it's so wonderful when people surprise us in a good way! I wish you the best of luck with your surgery...

  10. That's so wonderful of her! Good luck with your surgery.

    ICLW #91

  11. Isn't it great when people surprise you in a good way? I can imagine someone finding it really hard to respond in an email but wanting to show you how much they care in a different way. Hope it all goes well. x

  12. This is a good lesson. Thanks for sharing. And glad to hear that you have your MILs love and support to help you through your surgery. This is just the time when you need to feel like you have a close-knit family around you.

  13. Bravo! I am so glad this happened ! I hope you said yes. :)