My best friend and I are going away together this weekend to a lake for some chill-just-us time. I can't wait. We need this so badly - or at least, I need this from us so badly.
She has a 1 1/2 year old who I just love, but as you can imagine, it's been a rocky road with dealing with my feelings about everything infertility and therefore, somehow even though this kid brings me joy, he can also bring on my sadness. He's about the age that I feel my child would be.
My best friend and I had both agreed to start trying around the same time - about 3 years ago. She took the lead though and started 4 months ahead of me. She got pregnant within 4 months but then had a miscarriage at 10 weeks. She got pregnant the following month.
I sometimes still can't believe that even with her set-back, she still has a 1 1/2 year old... and I have nothing. I try not to think about it too much - or think about it in that way. But it's hard not to.
And that's sometimes my biggest challenge. How do I let others' joys not become sadnesses to me?
I really need this weekend with her. Just her.
1 month ago