I still can't believe it. He's amazing. He's adorable. He's such a good baby. He's cute. And he's ours. And in good health. We couldn't have asked for everything to have gone more smoothly.
Well, except our surrogate had some post-delivery complications (which I got super worried about but she somehow just bounced back and was released 24 hours later).
So here he is:
The lowdown:
Where to even start?
The rest of the third trimester went pretty well. L started going to weekly appts with about 6 weeks left because she developed gestational diabetes so I felt bad that she had to control so much of what she did and get pricked several times a day but she handled it like a champ. I went to weekly appts with her and was so glad to because I felt like I could advocate for her.
Here's one of the last weeks:
With about a week left to go she asked if we wouldn't mind if she got induced. They weren't going to let her go past his due date which was July 12 so we said sure, as long as the doctor's are ok with it. I think she was really uncomfortable. On Thursday, she made plans for it to be Monday and then midday on Thurs she asked if we could do Friday instead (turned out the doctor on Friday was one that she liked better than the Monday one; and I knew the Friday one also from all the appts.).
So around 2pm that day, I started FREAKING OUT. I actually cried at work thinking I'm not ready. I can't be a parent TOMORROW. It's too soon... Thank goodness my work colleague calmed me down and gave me a hug and said You are ready. Also, B's parents made arrangements to get on the road super early that next morning so they could be here for the birth.
(B's parents didn't sleep much that night and got up at 3:30am to start getting on the road!).
(B's parents stayed with us for almost 2 weeks and were SUPER helpful).
So I thought I'd leave work early but I wrapped up around 5, walked home and I think I worked out when I got home because I was going crazy. And I was texting with people and my sister-in-law, J, was most helpful to me.
B got home and we got to freak out a bit together. :)
The Birth Day
L had told us that we shouldn't get there right away since she likely wasn't even going to get induced right away so I was in touch with her starting pretty early that morning. She got to the hospital around 8, I got to work out again, she got induced around 10:30am and told me "everything was quiet". I told her we'd make our way over around lunchtime.
We ate at home and then got there (45 mins from our house) around 1. Things were quiet with her. She was alone. Her husband had a meeting and was going to come later or when things were really happening. She was having mild contractions that she said felt like menstrual cramps. She said the doc would be by around 2:30 to break her water to move things along. She continued watching The Office re-runs on her iPad. :)
We went down to the cafeteria to get a bit more to eat and then were up there before 2:30.
Nothing was happening. The doctor got called away with an emergency.
We got to meet L's aunt who was there visiting (her mom was on vacation that week... was a bit weird that her mom wasn't there, but then again, maybe not since it's not her baby... but her daughter was going through something major. I kinda wondered if it was maybe because she kinda didn't want to be there so had a good 'excuse' to be away... I'm sure complicated feelings about having your daughter have someone else's baby.) In any case, L's aunt brought gifts for us - both homemade, one from her and one from L's mom, which was super nice and thoughtful.
The doc came and broke her water around 4:20. We gave her and her aunt a bit more time together (while I ate a snack in the waiting room) and when her aunt came out she said L was having harder contractions.
We went back there and her husband, D, was there... I don't know how we missed him. We were glad to see him. L was on the ball and almost in deep trances with her contractions. She was keeping track of them on an app that I went over to look at a few times. I don't remember the details but I feel like they were about 1 min with 2-3 mins in apart. She was still watching The Office ruruns!
By about 5:45 she wanted to get in the bed and the nurse helped her. L also asked for an epidural at that point. As they were prepping it, L also said that she felt like the contractions were getting to be more "pushy".
They checked her out and said rather than the epidural, what will make her feel better is pushing and getting this baby out.
Meanwhile, I had changed into a gown so I could be ready to do skin to skin.
L's husband was next to her holding her hand and we were behind him, giving her some privacy. L pushed about 4-5 times. That's it! And then... a cry!
I could hardly believe it. B and I were holding hands behind D and when we heard the cry we were holding hands. Then they said, do you want to see the gender or have us tell you. We said "tell us!" And they said:
It's a boy!
We squeezed hands so tightly and just cried and cried. And said I love you to each other.
It was so meaningful because we knew we were going to name a boy after B's late father (who passed away when he was 12).
The nurse wrapped him up and brought him over to me and was wiping him as she gave him to me. She took pictures of me which was super thoughtful.
Having him there next to me was unreal. I can't even describe it. It felt so surreal. I couldn't believe I was holding my baby!
Then the nurse handed him to B and I think I cried more just watching my husband who has so wanted this baby hold him. It was incredible.
The nurse took pics of both of us too which was so super nice.
They then had us to go over to the warming table with him and got him all checked out.
He was born on 7/7/17 at 6:17 in room 7 and was 7 lbs 12 oz. Lots of lucky 7s!
In fact, after he was born, I had been monitoring the clock a little and thought at first that he'd be born at 7, but then didn't want L to go that long but I thought he might've had a 7 in the number. The last I had looked at the clock, it was 6:15 so after he was born I asked "was he born at 6:17?" and they said yes!
In the meantime, L didn't seem like she was doing so well. The doctors were still working on her and she seemed like she was in a lot of pain. Her placenta wasn't coming out and they had to go in a few times to try to get it out. I felt so bad for her. Those were worse pains than the labor pains.
Her husband was getting exhausted, so I went over to relieve him and stood by L. The doctor brought in another doctor and there was just blood everywhere. I was pretty scared. The other doctor was able to help get it out and get the bleeding to stop. Thank goodness. And L needed lots of fluids.
She quickly recovered and about 45 mins later, started having people come back. First, her brother and sister-in-law, then her friend, J, who took the best photo of us. I just happened to be holding D and he seemed to be looking right at me and it was so profound and moving that I was just crying and crying thinking I can't believe you're here. In fact, for probably a full week or two, I would say that to him each morning. I can't believe you're here. I can't believe you're finally here.
Then we brought B's parents back and shared the name with them as we handed D to B's mom. She was so emotional. In fact, she was wearing her engagement ring necklace from B's dad that day for him to 'be there' with us. So sweet.
They stayed for quite awhile and in fact, the nurses were going to have us move from the L&D to Mom and Baby. L just needed to go to the bathroom first.
Well, she got up with a nurse and passed out in the bathroom and began to lose a lot of blood again. Not good and super scary. They got her back to the bed and she was white with chapped lips. So scary again and we were just in the way even though we tried to stay out of the way.
Finally around 9 we got moved over and had rooms side by side. B's parents had left and were staying at a hotel nearby for that night.
Once we all got settled in, L offered to nurse him around 10pm. It was beautiful to watch her nurse him and it only made me a little sad that I couldn't. Actually, that night I could tell he was 'rooting' for a breast and it was hard for me to not be able to offer that to him.
We probably went to bed around 11pm and our night nurse, Tia, was awesome. She told us to wake up every 2 hours to feed him. What a rude awakening! So we had to wake up at 1am, etc.
The next morning, I remember being sound asleep and waking up to a doctor in our room examining D and B was dressed, showered and had left to get us Star.bucks coffee offsite! How on earth had I slept through that??? I never sleep through anything! I am THE lightest sleeper. But I was EXHAUSTED.
I knew our pastor and our parents were going to be visiting soon. My parents had actually called and said they were on their way. I'm glad they didn't wait for me to call them back! I was in the shower by the time they got there!
It was so great to see them and B's parents, and then our pastor too. L came by. She had texted and said "how is Team Baby B doing [B and D's last name] which was cute. She nursed him again around 11am which was so nice.
My brother, his wife and 1 kid came in the afternoon which was nice. My brother and L are good friends from high school and the whole reason this happened for us, so he was pretty emotional and it was nice to have us all together.
That evening, L left around 6pm. It was weird to see her leave (with her husband and son). It felt pretty empty after she left. She was a HUGE part of Team Baby B. I didn't know what I'd do without her there. It really was a weird, empty, almost helpless feeling. I didn't want her out of the picture yet.
And she wasn't going to be because she wanted to pump for us which was awesome. We rented the hospital pump for her and swung by her house on the way home the next day.
Leaving the hospital with D that Sunday, 2 days later, about 36 hours later, was scary. What are we doing with a baby?! We have a baby! We're responsible for this. It seemed a bit overwhelming. In a good way, but also in a surreal way.
He's here. Our miracle is here. After almost 10 years of wants, desires, tears, tests, procedures, disappointments, heartbreaks. He's here. Because of science and because of the hugest heart who wanted to carry him for us.
Surrogacy rocks and our little one is amazing.
