Monday, January 17, 2011


Can it be 2 full weeks into the new year and I'm still feeling peaceful? Have I achieved that state I've been longing for? Will it last?? I sure hope so!

It's taken a lot of work & reflection... and the book Sweet Grapes: How to Stop Being Infertile and Start Living Again has really helped. It's mostly about moving to a childfree state and while I'm not sure I'm there, I am sure that I want to be happy with what I do have and with our current situation, which does not include children.

Truthfully, I just don't want to put our lives on hold anymore. I want to live life without thinking 'well, what if we get pregnant'. That hasn't worked and doesn't bring me peace.

I never thought I could be a person who may not want to have children. In fact, I was ready to jump into foster care a year and a half ago! But, in getting to this peaceful state, it's meant embracing the fact that we don't have children. And reading this book on how to embrace life without children has got me thinking that that may actually be a good life!

And, I visited with my best friend yesterday, who has a 2 year old and a recent newborn and I had a BLAST as the auntie and helper. No jealousy, no sadness, no pining. How incredible is that? I never thought I'd get here.

Who knows where my state in mind will be in the near future but for now, I AM happy to say that I am embracing our lives the way it is. And that is the amazing peace that I've so been wishing for, moreso than a child.


  1. Depending on the resutls of this cycle I might need the name of the book you are reading. I am glad you are able to enjoy time with your friend and her kids!

  2. that is so great to hear. way to go. glad you could enjoy being with your friend and her kids.

  3. I need to read this book. I'm so grateful for this post because my mind keeps reminding me that I need to learn to start living and moving forward and not always thinking, "well what if we did get pregnant?"

  4. That is fantastic, I'm so glad to hear you have found a sense of peace. Hope that you continue to feel at peace and enjoy living the life you have now!

  5. It is soooo fantasti that you have found some peace, short-lived or not. Finding peace in any of our journeys is NEVER easy, and any that you find is to be treasured. I'm happy for you :)

  6. It sounds like you are in a great state of mind. That is so good to hear. I'm very happy for you, and I hope that those feelings of peace continue!

  7. That is great ! Be proud of yourself.

  8. So thrilled to hear that you also got a lot of out that book - a big turning point for me for sure - and that you are doing so well.

    Isn't it nice to enjoy being around friends and their kids again? It was one of my favorite messages of the book - just because you're infertile doesn't mean you can't have kids in your life. I think I really needed to hear that message. I've always loved kids and always will - even if they aren't biologically mine.

    Can't wait to hear about your 2 weeks in India!