Who knows anymore! It seems like every time I feel like I may be better, I take 2 steps back again. I guess that's just the way it is and am thankful that I continue to go to counseling!
The biggest thing is that I went to see another specialist for a 2nd opinion on whether IVF is really our next step or do we have other options. The facts are:
- I've been able to get pregnant 4 times now (2 prior to fibroid surgery with IUI, 2 after naturally)
- I can't stay pregnant past 5 1/2 weeks
- One of my tubes may be blocked now as recently as a year ago
I have a lot to think through because I've been reluctant to do IVF. If they could tell me that doing IVF would help me stay pregnant, I think I'd do it, but they're just saying they can control a lot more and see a lot more and therefore figure out what the real problem is if there is still a problem.
Such heaviness.
In the meantime, I'm struggling with my own feelings of feeling like I don't have a choice in the matter. My husband has stressed to me that I do have a choice but his strong feelings about a biological link due to his father passing away during his childhood makes me feel like I'd be a horrible person if I didn't at least try to do this for him.
See what I mean? Heaviness.
So, that's where I am right now - with a whole lot of counseling to help sift this all through.
