I am so relieved today because I am starting a part-time schedule!
I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner. I was starting to feel like I just couldn't do it all and have been wanting to quit for months and months now. My husband kept convincing me that I love my job and that I'd have too much time on my hands but I still couldn't shake the weight of trying to do it all.
And then I thought - it doesn't have to be all or nothing, does it? So, I came up with an exact 50/50 compromise - go part-time!
I started talking to my boss about it last week. It was a pretty emotional conversation and he really felt for me - something I hardly get from him. I told him how I just felt like I was at the end of my rope with all the medical stuff we were doing to try to have biological children and how this next procedure may be my last. I explained that I was having trouble holding it altogether and that something had to give. I even said that who knows the role stress has to do with this but I want to feel like I've given it my all.
He even said 'is part-time going to be enough for you?' and offered that they could be flexible if I wanted a leave of absence. Just knowing I had his support was tremendous. I've arranged my schedule to be 50% for the next 8 weeks and see what happens. I also got an appropriate, non-invasive note from our CEO giving his support for what I was doing. That felt really good too.
The biggest change happening with our upcoming FET is that my doctor has done uterine biopsies on me. They say that it can increase implantation. So, I'm hopeful with our new protocol.
We are also going to transfer 2 embryos this time - for the first time. My doctor says that having had 4 transfers already, transferring 1 only has a 30% chance, whereas transferring 2 has a 50% chance (with these biopsies) for a singleton and 25% chance of twins.
For the first time in a long time last night, B and I were laughing and discussing names for single sex twins. I don't remember the last time we've laughed about the possibility of naming our child(ren)!
It feels so good to be relaxed and hopeful again.
We start meds this Wed and transfer is on Oct 16.
Here's to a new cycle!
1 month ago