Saturday, May 4, 2013

On a Positive Upswing

I did have a little set-back a few weeks ago but I am doing so much better now!

It's interesting too, since this week marked 8 weeks since my miscarriage and that I'm actually STILL going through it. Yes, I'm still bleeding and my hcg is only down to 18. (It's been a very, very slow climb down the last 5 weeks in particular).

But I am doing great and here's some reasons why:

  • I'm LOVING my new job! I think changing jobs after 5 years was really the kick I needed to infuse my life with new energy. I was stagnant and not feeling valued there (by not providing enough value because I was feeling stagnant, vicious circle). Much as I loved that job and had mixed feelings to leave, I absolutely love, love, love my new job. Two months in and I really jive with my boss and the senior team and I love commuting to work on my bike again!
  • I'm having success with Wei.ght Wat.chers again! I joined 4 weeks ago and have lost 2.5lbs so far (I've got a mini 5lb goal and an overall 10 lb goal (I'm short so those are 'more'/harder than one may think). 
  • I'm exercising a lot again--whether it's been bik.ram yoga 2x/week, biking to work everyday (which is only 1.5 miles each way, but still...) or running 2x/week, it has all felt great. I want to  try to do one more yoga a week but I'm really proud of this!
  • My marriage is so much better! Counseling once a week for the last 3 months has really helped to turn us around. I realize my depression and sadness were starting to turn toward him and that wasn't good. I had started not appreciating him which wasn't good. We've worked on some things (mostly me) and now we're so happy again!
  • I'm appreciating all the great things in my life... and not dwelling anymore (as much) on the thing we don't have. I think by focusing on the things I really like - taking advantage of the int'l film fest that came to DC recently, going to baseball games again, doing my yoga and running, etc. helped my energy level on things that are great about my life.
  • Still making progress on family building. I finally got most of my medical records for our consult on May 24 which was a big hurdle. We're going to R.M.A. in NJ and making a weekend in NY out of it so that's good.
  • Being on a somewhat forced break because I'm still bleeding and my hcg isn't back to 0 has actually given me the freedom to not be in that rat race with it all, which has been good.
So, hopefully that's enough to keep this positive energy up!


  1. All of those things sound so wonderful. As cliche and trite as it sounds (and believe me, I HATED being told this when I was still fighting the IF fight, so I can't believe I'm going to type it here...) it is GREAT to try to focus on the positives. Keep on living, because this isn't a dressed rehearsal, you know? I am so hopeful you will succeed very, very soon and be out of the IF fight altogether. Awesome on the weight loss and exercise!

  2. So sorry you're still dealing with the hcg lowering...hope it's all resolved and down to zero very soon. I know how I hated waiting for that this last time.

    So happy to hear so much is going well in your life currently. That is fantastic news about the new job and wonderful you've been getting so much exercise. Glad to hear counseling has helped you guys as well. Hope things only continue to improve for you!

  3. You sound so good, especially after such a recent miscarriage. I love that you're throwing yourself into your new and exciting job, and especially that you're working on your marriage. This is great, and will help you guys for years to come! Focusing on how to make the life you have wonderful, from exercising, to taking care of your marriage, will only benefit you. Hope your upcoming consult goes well!

  4. How have you been? I just had to tell you how much your comment and kind words meant to me. Thank you so much, its definitely not always easy to be positive but it helps a lot to not feel alone. Thank you for helping to strengthen me when I needed it! Sending hope and love your way ((hugs))