Two Embryos in the Oven

I've got two embryos in the oven and hoping for the best.

We did PGD testing on our embryos again and this was the first time our clinic could offer us same cycle transfer with the testing. They shipped our biopsies on day 5 and they were shipped back by 9am the next day for a Day 6 transfer!

We got 11 eggs, did ICSI (which is recommended for PGD testing) and 8 fertilized. Of the 8, 5 were ready by Day 5 for biopsy and of those 5, only 2 came back with normal genetics. Those 2 were a grade 2 out of 4 and a grade 2-3 out of 4 (whatever that means).

Our doctor recommended we transfer two based on this. With a single transfer, we would have had a 35% chance of pregnancy. With transferring two, we have a 60% chance of a single pregnancy and a 25% chance of twins.

Let's see what happens. I hope I can remain peaceful in this 2 week wait and particularly peaceful if it's a negative result. I think I can.

And I'm also concerned that even if it's a positive result on July 8, that something will happen 1-2 weeks after that as it has to us so many times now, but this is why we're doing all this genetic testing.

I've got to stay hopeful and peaceful.

"Free and Easy" IVF #3

My husband is calling me "free and easy" these days. It's a quote that the Wash.ington Na.tionals Manager uses a lot to describe his management style! I guess B. feels like my positive upswing and they way I've been handling going into our next IVF captures that sentiment.

I've taken a whole new approach with our fresh IVF #3 cycle: I'm minimizing it.

I've minimized it to the point that I've told NO ONE it's even happening outside of my husband (ha! obviously!!), our therapist and my support group. No one else knows. At least from me. Not my family. Not my best friend. No one.

And I've told B that with whoever he tells, to them them that I've been so positive these days by minimizing it that contrary to how I handled previous cycles, I don't want to talk about it. His family is visiting this weekend and I even told him to tell them not to ruin my zen place by bringing it up!

So, how has it been going? Really well! Here's my progress:

• Still LOVING the new job!
• Down 6 lbs on Wei.ght Wat.chers after 2 1/2 months!
• Increased bik.ram yoga to 3-4x/week and running 1-2x/week
• Our marriage is awesome

I know I'm still burying the hurt and sadness of infertility a bit by I've also chosen to focus on ALL of the great things happeneing to me instead of the ONE thing that isn't. And that's made me A LOT happier. 

I've also been realizing that lots of people have sucky things happening to them and I'm just one of them. And approaching life with what IS working is better than what ISN'T. 

When I was searching 'infetility woes' a couple of months ago, I came across this post which just resonated so much. I've spent my entire mid-30s - 5 years! - being sad, depressed and letting this characterize my 30s. Well, after I read that, I thought, I'm not going to let that be me anymore. I'm not going to let infertility define my life anymore.

So far so good. 

Egg retrieval was today. We'll see about the rest. I'm not going to sweat it. Things will work out one way or another. With this. With life in general. I'm riding this "free and easy" right now.