Summer Update

I can't believe I haven't posted all summer. That may be because I've been taking this summer for lots of summer fun, and it's been very helpful even though underneath it all, there's still a lot of sadness.

When I'm doing fun things or looking forward to more fun things, it doesn't sting as much though. It doesn't linger as long.

So, let's see what have I been up to:

• A long awaited weekend away with my best friend, just the two of us. We got a cabin at a lake in western Maryland and feltl like we were really away from it all. We had many great heart to hearts. It's pained me that our relationship has changed these last few years. She and I were on a course to start trying to conceive together. Her two kids are now 5 1/2 and 3 1/2, and that can be very hard for me. No matter how much I love her and her kids, it's a continual reminder of where I'm not, and also what we are not sharing together - parenting. She's also an extrovert and while I've been struggling with depression these last few years, it's been hard to see her be the way I want to be - full of energy, when mostly what I feel is anti-social. But it was good to talk about it all. She's always there for me and has made such an effort to reach out when I haven't. I love her so much and appreciate her friendship. I told her it sucks for me that we're not in the same place and she just reassured me that it's just a season and that this won't affect our friendship.
• A weekend in the mountains with my cousins and little cousins. My two closest women cousins who are sisters met up for a weekend getaway. One brought her two girls, the other is single. And we just had a great time "just being". Talking about serious stuff but also just laughing. We hiked, we went tubing. It was the perfect combination of spending quality time with family and enjoying summer's nature.
• An extra long weekend away with good friends to the Thousand Islands area in upstate NY/Canada. These friends of ours who have two boys, 6 and 8, who love my husband, invited us up to their cabin last year and we didn't go. When they invited us again this summer, I said, we've got to take them up on it. And I'm so glad we did. It was so much fun! Beautiful part of both countries, again good quality time, beautiful nature, swimming in the river, stand up paddling (first time for us!), boating, hiking. All around awesome!
• A weekend sleepover with our nephews. We try to do something special with them once a year and have them sleepover at our house. This summer, we took them to a local water park and to a Nats baseball game. Loads of fun to have these little guys, 10 and 6, with us for a whole weekend!

So, I'm glad I've taken to saying more 'yes' this summer and enjoying my relationships with meaningful people in my life and enjoying all that summer has to offer, especially in the outdoors.

And we're off this coming Monday for our big summer vacation to the Canadian Rockies - can't wait to see Lake Louise!!