The last 2 weeks have almost been harder than the traditional 2WW. It's been the second 2WW - the post-postive pre-heartbeat stage. And it's been really, really hard.
Testing positive with low numbers isn't reassuring and bleeding, at times heavily, for about a week isn't either.
We've essentially been going through that yo-yo. The center says our levels are rising appropriately, but they aren't doubling. They say they look for at least a 66% rise. Well, guess what ours has been? Yes - 66%.
Throw on top of it stressful work right now and my mom who I haven't been calling because she can't be supportive in the way I need her to be, who I know is mad that I haven't been calling even though I've said that I'll likely need to communicate less while we go through IVF because it's so stressful...
And of course, the last 2 calls I've had with her (one just now) have stressed me out - she's just negative in general, was starting to say that maybe the reason we've had so much trouble is because my work is stressful... oh yes, just what I love to hear - it's my fault we've had problems. Sure, quit my job and I'm sure I'd get pregnant right away! That's exactly how it works! Oh yeah, and the other time I had a miscarriage because she said I walked too much - yeah, I'm sure that's exactly the reason we miscarried... Yeah, and she wonders why I don't call more??? Hmmm, seems to make sense to me.
Grrrr. I wish I could just not call, for even six months or whenever we're done with IVF, and have it be ok then.
In the meantime, we have an ultrasound appt on Tues. Wish us luck. I'm worried mostly because of the bleeding... I just either want this to work or have us move onto another cycle.
1 month ago