Saturday, February 11, 2012

In Limbo Land

The last 2 weeks have almost been harder than the traditional 2WW. It's been the second 2WW - the post-postive pre-heartbeat stage. And it's been really, really hard.

Testing positive with low numbers isn't reassuring and bleeding, at times heavily, for about a week isn't either.

We've essentially been going through that yo-yo. The center says our levels are rising appropriately, but they aren't doubling. They say they look for at least a 66% rise. Well, guess what ours has been? Yes - 66%.

Throw on top of it stressful work right now and my mom who I haven't been calling because she can't be supportive in the way I need her to be, who I know is mad that I haven't been calling even though I've said that I'll likely need to communicate less while we go through IVF because it's so stressful...

And of course, the last 2 calls I've had with her (one just now) have stressed me out - she's just negative in general, was starting to say that maybe the reason we've had so much trouble is because my work is stressful... oh yes, just what I love to hear - it's my fault we've had problems. Sure, quit my job and I'm sure I'd get pregnant right away! That's exactly how it works! Oh yeah, and the other time I had a miscarriage because she said I walked too much - yeah, I'm sure that's exactly  the reason we miscarried... Yeah, and she wonders why I don't call more??? Hmmm, seems to make sense to me.

Grrrr. I wish I could just not call, for even six months or whenever we're done with IVF, and have it be ok then.

In the meantime, we have an ultrasound appt on Tues. Wish us luck. I'm worried mostly because of the bleeding... I just either want this to work or have us move onto another cycle.


  1. Hang in there.

    I totally ignore negative family members. I do not answer their call. That's just me, though.

    Fingers and toes crossed

  2. Oh wow, this time period in early pregnancy is a bear. I'm so sorry that you are in limbo land and you have no idea which way this is going to go. Good luck on Tuesday!!!

    Thanks for the kind comment on my blog!

    And my mom has been way less than supportive during my infertility struggle too - just ignore her! Or try your best! Hugs!!!!

  3. I hope your ultrasound went well.
    I took a break from my family for 2 years and it really was great. I am more detached from them now. You could try it for 6 months, explain to your mom why you won't see her or call her. She will be upset but you would be doing this for you, not her.