Retrieval #5 and Other Updates

I was quite despairing a couple of weeks ago and I decided to do two things:

• Get on anti-depressants
• Move forward with another retrieval

On the anti-depressants, I'm 10 days into zo.loft at this point and much as I really, really did not want to be on anti-depressants for several reasons (not wanting to be on drugs while trying to conceive, wanting to be able to feel better on my own, the stigma, etc.), I realized I was at an all-time low. And I probably have been on and off for the last couple of years. In retrospect, I wish I had started taking them 2 years ago. 

My therapist and RE are supportive of me doing this and I'm working with a psychiatrist. The first week wasn't great - I was having headaches and getting sleepy much earlier but by 1 week, it's feeling better. Not 100% probably but much better. So I'm glad about that.

On the retrieval, I just felt like I couldn't go through with an FET with just 1 embryo. It didn't feel hopeful enough to me and I really also want 2 children, not just 1, so I'd like to be able to transfer 2 embryos and/or have one hopefully saved for later on. Thankfully, my RE was supportive of going through another stim and retrieval. 

I start meds today for stimming and while these next couple of weeks are going to be intense with shots and appointments and ultimately (hopefully) a retrieval, I'm feeling better overall and better about our plan.

This plan also allows us to get our genetic testing results from our embryos by 2nd week of Dec and I'm planning to take a month off to plan a trip around Christmastime.

So, that's the plan and I'm so grateful to be feeling better.