Retrieval #5 - Cancelled!

How things can change so quickly!

We started stimming on Sunday for our Retrieval #5. By Tues, Day 3 into stimming, it looked like there might be a leading follicle and no significant growth behind it. By Wed, they determined they needed to cancel the cycle.

I'm pretty bummed. I was awake for 2 hours in the middle of the night last night just processing it.

I mean, of course, I understand that these things happen, and can happen and it happened to me. So, I can take that. But it just seems kind of endless on things happening to me too! I mean, how many times do I need to go through things in order for this to happen for us?

On the one hand, I've been taking this relatively calmly. I think the zo.loft has helped a lot. On the other hand, I want to feel like I'm making progress toward this.

This year alone, I've had 1 positive IVF followed closely by a miscarriage, 1 negative IVF, 1 retrieval cycle resulting in one embryo that we haven't transferred yet and now 1 cancelled retrieval cycle. All of these with embryo genetic testing involved.

I'll be able to get started again after Christmas with the way my cycle will shake out and the holiday lab closures, so that will also mean I can still go on a trip which I'd like to start looking forward to (I'm thinking the Galapagos Islands!).

But this is a two month digression.

I've always done really well during forced breaks, so I'm going to focus on me without worry of appts, meds or anything else which is extremely freeing. I'm going to recommit to Wei.ght Watchers. (I lost the weight between April-July and then regained it between August & Sept), I'm going to plan this trip and hope for the best with the next cycle.

And I'm going to continue to be grateful for taking the step to be on zo.loft. It's really added a lot more calm to my life.