K was having the D&C at 11am today.
I took the rest of the week off for self care.
Tues evening was nice, we took D out for ice cream which ended up being our dinner which felt perfect. I also took a nice long bath and went to sleep with am.bien that evening.
Wed, I woke up at 4:30am, went for a 4 mile run at 7am, worked out of a coffee shop in the morning, had therapy at 1pm and then watched one of my fave shows and tried to nap. I then took D out to a kitty cafe which took 2 busses to get to, which is fun bc he loves public transportation. Turns out there was an age requirement for the cafe so we went to dinner nearby and took a bus, the metro and another bus home, so transportation was our entertainment for the evening.
Thurs, I met my pastor for a 2 hour coffee with my running clothes on so I could go for a 6 mile run home. I took the best bath then went to get a pedi and went back to the kitty cafe by myself and bought myself new running pants, and then walked 2 miles home.
Today has been a relaxing morning with D and his friend while our nanny had a docs appt and I'm going to go ice skating this afternoon. And tomorrow we are going to go as a family to a trampoline park.
I feel like I'm doing all the restorative, refueling and self care things I need to do.
I've been texting with K, with family and friends and it's all felt good. I posted on my surrogacy moms group and on my church's joys and concerns page. I feel incredibly supported.
And I feel somber. This just sucks. I really wanted this sibling for D. I was enjoying starting to picture him.
And at the same time, I feel that I've been so guarded that it just feels like another checkmark on the miscarriage list. What is this one? 13? 10 for me, 2 for N and 1 for K?
I've been through a lot already. And I am a mom. I have D. And I have all the things to be grateful for in this world.
A few days ago I turned in a Lenten devotional I wrote about how when something hard hits again I hope that I can still turn to God and feel grateful. And on Tues evening, I had to remember my own words. And on my run Wed morning, I did just that. I said, why, God? and I also said, thank you, God.
2 years ago
This way my colleague Wesley Virgin's autobiography starts in this shocking and controversial VIDEO.
ReplyDeleteAs a matter of fact, Wesley was in the army-and shortly after leaving-he unveiled hidden, "SELF MIND CONTROL" tactics that the government and others used to get everything they want.
As it turns out, these are the same SECRETS lots of famous people (notably those who "became famous out of nowhere") and elite business people used to become rich and successful.
You probably know that you utilize only 10% of your brain.
That's really because the majority of your brain's power is UNCONSCIOUS.
Maybe this expression has even taken place INSIDE your very own mind... as it did in my good friend Wesley Virgin's mind about seven years back, while riding an unlicensed, beat-up trash bucket of a car with a suspended license and in his pocket.
"I'm absolutely fed up with going through life paycheck to paycheck! Why can't I become successful?"
You've taken part in those thoughts, ain't it so?
Your very own success story is waiting to be written. You just have to take a leap of faith in YOURSELF.
Take Action Now!