What happened to me being peaceful? Seems like that only lasted a couple of weeks.
I think my boss's comments really struck me on Friday. I plan to have some sort of follow-up with him - just wanting to at least clarify what, if any, performance concerns he may have of me. Earlier this year, he said I was doing amazing and wanted to promote me, so I know I'm not ready for promotion now, but maybe my performance isn't necessarily bad, it's just not outstanding anymore... when we talked in October, he said it was inconsistent.
I just want to know if he was asking me "whether I was happy or not" and "doing what I wanted to be doing" more because he sensed I was unhappy and might leave, or if he also had performance concerns. He's usually straight with me, so I may be reading too much into this and he may have simply been worried about me leaving, which is actually a good sign on my performance... and he did say that while the promotion won't happen now, 'we've just kicked it down the road a bit'.
It bothered me all weekend. I didn't sleep well. Especially last night - I actually turned out my light at 8:30pm because of the lack of sleep all weekend! But then woke up at 1:30am-4:30am. Read about 100 pages of The Go.od Earth by Pea.rl Bu.ck. Good book by the way.
My husband and I started again on what our next steps are... he wants biology so badly and I keep feeling like my body is failing us. His heart just isn't open to adoption right now. And honestly, deep down, I think we do still have a little ways to go on biology but I just wish the pressure would come off a bit. If he was the one to say 'let's start a homestudy', then I think I'd say, well, let's do some more tests...
I just want to be happy & peaceful!!
1 month ago