Friday, May 7, 2010

Hormones, What IF Project Video &

I had just been thinking to myself that I was doing pretty ok with the drugs & my hormone levels have been in check. That is, until my husband said something insensitive last night... and I blew my top.

I mean, I screamed. I don't usually scream. And I was screaming. It was ugly. At one point, I felt like I almost had one of those out of body experiences where I was looking at myself screaming, thinking who is this person???

So when that happened, I started explaining that even though I'm still upset, I really think it's the hormones and I can't quite control it. It's all fine now. I had to tell B that my evil twin sister isn't welcome to come around anymore. He seemed to like that.

One more week for my pregnancy test. Next Friday morning. It's all such a balancing act with continous mind games, isn't it?

And, have you all seen the What IF project video? It's remarkable. What courage this person had. Miriam/Keiko from Hannah Wept Sarah Laughed just put it all out there. And I thought, if she has the courage, then I can say something about it on

Here's what I posted this week:
as follow up to National Inferlity Awareness Week last week, this amazing woman made an incredible video. Hope it touches you too.

I wanted to add: B and I have been waiting 2 1/2 years now for our miracle. But I couldn't. It's ok though. I think it was enough a lot for me to have put this out there. And you know what? Two people have commented and said it did touch them. Nice, huh?

Hope you watch it if you haven't already!


  1. you know what.... that was a very touching video... I spent about an hour or so today crying about IF... feeling so bad as I do each Mother's Day.... this video helped me to see that I'm not alone... thanks for this post...

  2. Oh, and just wanted to tell you that the hormones really made me more angry too.... it was a pretty hard year last year... but my hubbie understood... like no one else could:0)

  3. That was courageous to post the video--good for you. Hang in there. Don't let those hormones get the best of you. There are pretty awful sometimes. Sometimes I couldn't even remember what I was like before all the hormones and was afraid I had always been like that.

    Thinking of you and hoping for the best next Friday

  4. Sometimes it's good to scream, it liberates something. Not shouting at someone but maybe you could have a csreaming contest with your husband just to let it all out : frustration, sadness, anger and then let out and express hope and excitement. I'm sure the video you posted is not the last you put "out there" on Facebook.

  5. that is a great video! I haven't been able to put up anything really on my facebook yet about IF, but I will before too long. Thanks for this great post!