I don't think I'm being a good friend righ now & I'm struggling with how to be one.
I usually am a good friend. I'm there, I listen, I empathize, I take interest in what my friends are doing, etc., etc.
But somehow with infertility, I can't fully do it. At least not now. And I feel like I'm being a crummy friend.
My best friend has the cutest kid. In fact, I'm his "god-aunt". Yet, it's painful for me to hear about the cute things he's doing. And she's pregnant again.
Her pregnancy actually prompted me to do our 3rd IUI. She, like many of us, is a planner, and she was going to wait to 'try' in March because she didn't want another December baby but her husband was going to be gone in April & May and she didn't want to wait that long (to which she also said that she could really feel for me... she couldn't wait 2 months to try, meanwhile I've had this struggle for 2+ years), so they went ahead and tried in March... and it worked.
That was the weekend I asked "so, what's going on with planning for #2?" to which she answered "I'm a week late". That's when I knew I had to do something about me & scheduled my Day 3 appt to get started on another IUI, which ended up not working.
She feels badly talking about her pregnancy with me. We were excited at the thought of going through pregnancy together and it pains her to see what I'm going through.
It's hard on me to not be able to be a true friend to her. She's been my best friend for over 15 years. We're supposed to be sharing these milestones together.
Infertility is affecting my friendships.
I finally told her that I just need time away with her. We used to go on vacations, just she & I. And I need that again. So, that's what we're doing. July 10th weekend.
I can't wait to have my best friend back again... and be her best friend in return. I hope that can happen, if only for a couple of days in vacation-land.
1 month ago