As many of you know, I continue to have a hard time figuring out how to deal with my mother in this whole process. So, I decided to call on my dad for some expertise.
He's hard to talk to - mostly because he works in cube-land and can't talk easily at work and my mom is always around at home, so can't talk with him there. I decided to call him at work anyway last week to talk about this pain I feel about my mom.
I told him how she and I have always had a close relationship and that now, with her constant unwanted advice - even though I tell her repeatedly that unwanted advice isn't helpful - I don't even want to spend time with her anymore. It's gotten to that point.
I feel like in a way, I've lost my mom.
He says that she hasn't changed. That she's always been this way - giving unsolicited advice and, at times, not being sensitive about it.
And I know I've changed. I know I'm now hyper-sensitive about anything anyone says.
I don't know where to go from here, though. Just accepting that our relationship has changed? That it's ok to not talk with her about this stuff anymore? Dad says she comes at all of this with a loving heart for me, and I know that... but practically, she's not listening to me about what I most need from her - her listening ear and her empathy. And until she can get that, which I'm beginning to think will be never, then I simply can't talk with her about infertility anymore. It's too painful. And more than that, it really angers me. And I have enough to deal with without being angry about her.
1 month ago