I got a glimpse yesterday of what it might be like to conceive normally, the way we were meant to. My thought was that maybe my fibroid surgery allowed us to be able to conceive this way. So, yesterday I decided that I would go about my day thinking that I was pregnant. And it was amazing. Truly amazing.
I'm supposed to get my period today and of course I've been doing all the neurotic things we do by checking out every possible thing that is going on with my body. So far, no signs -- except this pimple on my forehead.
I even tried taking an early pregnancy test last night and... it was defective!
Anyway, the amazing thing was that I allowed myself to think I was pregnant yesterday, and it was oh, so good.
I couldn't get over how over the moon I was that it could be that simple. Monitor your cycle, have sex a couple of times during opportune moments and bam - pregnant.
Wouldn't that be amazing? No drugs, no drama, no crazy person living within my body. I felt this cloud lift over me - like I was ME again! It made me smile all day.
How unfair that we don't really get to feel that way, huh? And that others take it for granted?
So, while it was nice living in la-la land yesterday, I have no idea what today holds, or what tomorrow and next month and the month after hold for that matter.
But how amazing to have felt that for just 1 day...
2 years ago
Lovely post! Thank you. I am glad you had that feeling!
ReplyDeleteYes! So happy that you are able to think that way, its very healthy. Good luck, I hope the next time you post you will have confirmed the feeling.
ReplyDeletesuch an interesting perspective. I forget that there is another way to have a baby :)
ReplyDeleteI hope this is your cycle!!!
It seems like a good idea to let yourself think this way. So often we stop ourselves because we "don't want to get our hopes up." But what's wrong with letting our hopes get up sometimes?
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