Actually, I may have to hide my sister-in-law's sister-in-law on face.book. Yes, complicated. She's like family. We see her enough, and now thansk to face.book, have gotten to know her enough for her to feel like family.
And she's 5 or 6 weeks pregnant at this point. I blogged about her last week. She posted her positive pee stick on fb stating "Woohoo". The very same pee stick I took last fall. After 2 years of ttc and 2 IUIs. Except mine didn't make it to 6 weeks.
She's had her doctor's appt and is going back in 2 weeks to hear the heartbeat. She's not posting constantly about it. And in fact, those are the only 2 postings. Oh, and that she's eating for two now. Please.
And you know what? I hate that I sound this sarcastic. I hate that this has to be about me and not her. I hate that IF has robbed me of the innocence and joy of pregnancies. I've become bitter and I don't like it.
I wish I could be more positive and say, I'm not going to let this affect me and I'll be genuinely happy for her. But, I think I may just have to hide her, and maybe just go look at what she's posted every now & then. Or maybe only before the next time I see her.
If I hide her, though, I don't want to miss a significant moment for her and not comment. (I'm a fairly big fb commenter). What do I do???
2 years ago
I'd hide her status for a little while until you feel better about things (or at least feel like you aren't going to poke her eyes out, which is usually my telling point that I'm over my jealousy of someone being pregnant)
ReplyDeleteReally though, it's better to hide her and let some time pass instead of glowering at your screen every time she posts a womb picture right?
I like the idea of hiding her and then looking at all of her updates once in awhile. That way you could steel yourself for it, like ripping off a bandaid; all at once.
ReplyDeleteyou hide her... you feelings are just as important as hers and you must protect your emotional well-being... I would hide her and wouldn't think twice about it... she should understand.... and if she doesn't them politely send her an email explaining your sadness...
ReplyDeleteYou need to focus on self preservation & if that means hiding her for a little while you shouldn't worry about it. She won't probably know the difference & like you said you can check in on her page every once in a while, when you feel prepared to read whatever may be on there. You'll have to check out my blog today, it seems we were thinking about some of the same stuff...I too had mentioned a certain fb friend of mine that has been posting about her pregnancy since she was 5wks along & her status updates are pretty much constant. While I'm thankful to be pregnant I'm jealous of her innocence & confidence in posting about her pregnancy to everyone at such an early stage when I don't feel safe doing so at 12wks. IF just really sucks sometimes:(
ReplyDeleteI think I would hide her too and just check in now and again. Its not worth the heartache. Does she know what you are going through....because if she does know then I would hope that she would understand that you arent jumping for joy and commenting on every milestone.
ReplyDeleteI have hidden several people because of their pregnancy and baby posts. There's nothing wrong with it, especially if you plan to check in on her FB page every now and again. Don't feel bad about the little things that keep you sane!
ReplyDeleteCould anyone be so self-absorbed that they update their FB status and then get upset that a specific friend doesn't comment on it? I say hide her and don't look at her page unless you really want to know. Also, here's an idea that helps me: When I have jealousy problems about a friend who's pregnant, I ask myself if I would wish infertility on her. The answer is, of course, no. This doesn't make it easier all the time, but it does help me accept other peoples' good fortune. Hang in there! So sorry you're faced with this situation. The closer the friend/family member, the harder such things must be.
ReplyDeleteI love the comments that the others have written. I agree! And you know, I've had a hard time with the pregnancy of my SIL's SIL. I'm very close with my SIL, and seeing her all excited over her new niece (her first niece or nephew) has been hard for me. I try really hard to be happy for them, but yeah, it's just hard.
ReplyDeleteHUGS!
Once again, you guys are wonderful! Thank you for your insight & comments.
ReplyDeleteShe doesn't know about our situation, at least I haven't told her. She may know from my SIL, who does know, but I wouldn't expect her to know enough to be sensitive enough. My SIL even posted "I can't wait to be an aunt" the other day. Ugh. Well, you know, I'm happy for her/them but it's hard.
So, for now, I'm going to hide her. Even though I feel kinda bad and wish I were stronger. I know that's it's ok and just what I happen to be going through right now. Someone else can update me or I can go & check her page for updates in only bits at a time rather than all the time.
Thanks you guys!! Hugs back to you!
I can't imagine that anyone would take offense that someone didn't comment on a post they made. Maybe she'll notice that you're not commenting on her posts as much in general and think that you're not checking your fb as often as before? So I don't think it's wrong for you to hide her for a while and check her page when you're feeling more emotionally up for it.
ReplyDeleteYou could hide her so you don't see her status in recent events but still go on her profile once in a while to check if you haven't missed anything major.
ReplyDelete