Things have been good between me and my mom lately. It's been good because I haven't been telling her anything about how I've been feeling about infertility. And she's been sensitive to not bring it up or even slip in anything about babies/children.
It's been a HUGE relief.
But then, I went ahead and told her. I went ahead and told her how upsetting it was for me to find about my sister-in-law's sister-in-law's pregnancy on face.book on Wed.
(And, no, that's not a typo... this person pretty much feels like a sister-in-law and is close to the family as I explained in my last post) :)
So my mom starts saying how I can't have everything and that I have a great career, a great house, blah, blah and I just tuned out because 1) I know she was just trying to somehow be nice or be positive for me and 2) I just really didn't want to get all riled up.
But... I am riled up. I don't even remember how we finished the conversation but that kind of stuff is just upsetting to me. Why can't she just say "I know this is hard for you" and just leave it at that. That's it. I certainly DON'T want any 'this is my cross to bear' bullcrap.
I know she said 'It won't always be like this' and 'I thought of you when I saw that posting' or something like that and I know she's just trying to be helpful but why does this have to be so cyclical with her? Why can't she just stick to being empathetic and leave it at that.
The thing is, I want to say something to her again about how best to help me but I'm not sure how to. She's super sensitive so I've just chosen to not say anything about any of this, but that's not an authentic relationship, is it?
1 month ago