Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Thought I Was Ok...

I really thought I was ok. Or at least better. Or at the very least focused on something else.

But it seeped in... in no time.

Yesterday, I saw a mom with two cute twin toddlers and I thought I really want kids. And then this morning Where's My Stork wrote this post called I Want to be Pregnant... NOW and I felt the EXACT same way.

And then, as a blow, my sister-in-law's sister-in-law, who is relatively close to the family, announced on today that she was pregnant by posting a picture of her positive test stick - the same one I took in Nov that showed I was pregnant before the miscarriage. And it bummed me out.

So, I'm really bummed out. And am reaching out, hoping by getting my feelings out there and getting your supportive words, thoughts, hugs and prayers, I'll feel better...


  1. Oh, I hope you feel better too! I often feel amazingly better after blogging. I think it's the act of actually putting my feelings into words and starting to process them.

    And I saw a one of those positive test sticks on Facebook this week too and wanted to scream. Why would they put a photo of the stick on there, I think that's insane. If/when I ever get pregnant I promise not to do that! ;)

    Well I understand how those feelings seep in and I hope you can find ways to ignore them and enjoy yourself!

  2. Oh my, I am so sorry. When my SIL gave her announcement, I almost lost it. It was really hard to go through that and having the family ohh and ahh over her. I hope that things look up soon.


  3. Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out. Don't hold your breath and scream or cry if you feel it. Breath in positive energy, release anger, sadness and negative energy. Works for me when I'm really, really bummed.

    Sigh. I'm so sorry you had to go through this today. Or any day. It always feels like a slap in the face to me and I haven't even started trying yet so it must be a gazillion times harder for you.
    Some facebook friends of mine have changed their profile pic to the echography picture and I am so envious and it makes me sad. I am happy for them. I just wish they would take it down already and put a picture of a puppy or something so I can stop staring at it.

    I hope you find something to become "unbummed" for a while. I hope you feel better soon. I send you Smarties cookies and hugs.

  4. Aww...sorry things are so rough for you right now. Hang in there.

  5. Sorry your bummed and my post was part of the reason. :( I had a few beers tonight...and RIGHT NOW I am feeling a little better. :)

  6. So sorry hon...we've all had those days. The infertility journey definitely comes with it's low days, when all we seem to be able to focus on is what we don't have. Take one day at at time...I wish I had better advice, but it really is rough at times. Praying for peace & sending hugs:)

  7. Oh I get the bummed out feeling, I understand it well. Too well. It's funny how many times we tell ourselves we are ok, then we realise we really arent!

    One breath at a time, love. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other - sometimes its a long journey but its worth it :)

    ps It hurts to see pregnancy announcements doesnt it :( Thinking of you

  8. Oh girl I have felt that way more times than I could ever count... it seeps in when we least expect it... and we are always left to pick up the pieces of this COMPLETE and UTTER TURMOIL.... I know...we know.... and that's why God has blessed us to be able to all be here for one another... the internet is a WONDERFUL thing. Although we don't know each other and may never meet... we can still offer advice and emotional support to others going through pain.... I know I don't know you but I want you to know that I love ya.... and I sure hope that today is a better day.... take it one day at a time and do whatever you have to do to cope.... wine and chocolates help me at times:)

  9. Oh, how I love you all! THANK YOU for making me feel so much better. Yes, getting it out in the blog feels better but equally so do your comments, hugs and thoughts. I also cried on my husband's shoulder last night. AND I ate a TON of chocolate!!! I am (mostly) all better! Thanks for reaching out!!

  10. Seriously. No one on facebook wants to see anyone else's pee sticks. Anyway, feel better :). Here's a virtual hug coming your way.

  11. Sending you virtual hugs and support. (And really, who posts pee stick pictures on FB?)Hang in there!