After having cried for much of the weekend, I decided that enough's enough. No more waiting. It's time for another IUI.
I don't want to sit idle anymore. And that's what this feels like. I'm only crying because of the heartache I feel for wanting to have children and for what it's doing to me to not be able to... right now.
Yes, I'm scared to take the plunge. And scared of what a negative result will do to my state of mind. But I'm also not willing to not do anything anymore. I've reached a point where Ineed to feel like I'm doing everything I can to not cry anymore.
Only thing I brought up was 'why don't we try naturally again this month instead of all the drugs, appointments, shots, expense & heightened expectations?' B had a good point - I feel like we've been trying that and it isn't working.
Much as I would like to avoid all of the above and really just conceive the old natural way, it may be time to do this again. It's been 5 months since the last failed IUI which resulted in a methotrextate shot to dissolve a pregnancy thought to be ectopic. I'm willing to hope again. Or at least willing to start IUI #3 knowing that our reconsideration point would be a failed IUI #4.
I made a hasty decision yesterday. I called the fertility clinic and made my Day 3 appt for today. And my follicles look good.
Only thing is... if the doctor calls this afternoon to move forward with IUI, I'm traveling to Chicago later this week for work, which means I'll either have to self-administer my Day 9 shot or see if the friend I'm staying with can. I'm such a baby when it comes to this and have so much empathy for IVFers. I've had my husband available to do them for me in the past. Oh well. I guess I've got to grow up!
Here's to possibly IUI #3...
1 month ago