Monday, April 19, 2010

Why Wait Any Longer?

After having cried for much of the weekend, I decided that enough's enough. No more waiting. It's time for another IUI.

I don't want to sit idle anymore. And that's what this feels like. I'm only crying because of the heartache I feel for wanting to have children and for what it's doing to me to not be able to... right now.

Yes, I'm scared to take the plunge. And scared of what a negative result will do to my state of mind. But I'm also not willing to not do anything anymore. I've reached a point where Ineed to feel like I'm doing everything I can to not cry anymore.

Only thing I brought up was 'why don't we try naturally again this month instead of all the drugs, appointments, shots, expense & heightened expectations?'  B had a good point - I feel like we've been trying that and it isn't working.

Much as I would like to avoid all of the above and really just conceive the old natural way, it may be time to do this again. It's been 5 months since the last failed IUI which resulted in a methotrextate shot to dissolve a pregnancy thought to be ectopic. I'm willing to hope again. Or at least willing to start IUI #3 knowing that our reconsideration point would be a failed IUI #4.

I made a hasty decision yesterday. I called the fertility clinic and made my Day 3 appt for today. And my follicles look good.

Only thing is... if the doctor calls this afternoon to move forward with IUI, I'm traveling to Chicago later this week for work, which means I'll either have to self-administer my Day 9 shot or see if the friend I'm staying with can. I'm such a baby when it comes to this and have so much empathy for IVFers. I've had my husband available to do them for me in the past. Oh well. I guess I've got to grow up!

Here's to possibly IUI #3...


  1. you can do the trigger shot, I have faith in you!

    I have been exactly where you stood- sometimes it's so hard to make the commitment to go back into ART. You'd just like it to be easier and ART amps everything up so much more... but it does bring us closer to our goals.

    Also, I am sorry to hear FB has got you down. It can be REALLY tough. I can't believe people post that at 5 or 6 weeks- unbelievable from our shoes.

  2. I've never given myself a shot yet either, but you can do it! I think the trigger shots usually hurt less (than Menopur anyway). Glad you've made a plan and I'll be hoping with you that this IUI is it!

  3. Good for you for calling the clinic! Sometimes I think that making the phone call is the hardest part. Also, great news that your follies are looking good. GL!

  4. Yay !! You can do it ! *Cheering* *Cheering harder* *Cheering like the insane woman I saw at the market this weekend*
    Hang in there !

  5. Good for you! I'll be pulling for you. Fingers crossed!

  6. I've never had to give myself a shot, thankfully! I'm way too scared to do it. I hope that the follies continue to grow and this is THE cycle for you!!

  7. Hi there- stopping by from ICLW. I wanted to do a whole "Way to Go!" cheerleader routine to cheer on your decision to move forward with another cycle. I'm sending you so much good luck, esp. for your first shot (I saw your most recent post). You can do it!!

    Happy ICLW!
    ~Miriam (ICLW #60) Hannah Wept, Sarah Laughed