Sunday, March 7, 2010

5% Hopeful...

I told myself I wouldn't post stuff on here that I thought was too much information but... I can't help it. It's what's on the brain.

We 'timed' our intimate encounter this weekend and now I'm 5% hopeful... and I was afraid of this sliver of hopefulness because I don't want to be disappointed. once. again.

For the last few months, we didn't try anything therefore 0% hopeful, therefore 0% disappointment. You see?

Since my husband and I are unexplained, I can't help but feel like if we try to time it right, there's at least a small, small possibility that just maybe this might be the time it actually happens. And I've been big time paying attention to the egg whites this time!

So, I'm on some sort of way, way, way toned down 2ww. And I don't want this sense of peace I've created to get messed up with any of this yo-yo of hope/disappointment that I've experienced about 20+ times now. (I know, many have had it WAY worse & I shouldn't complain. But this is my story and this is just how I happen to feel...).

I've also realized through Infertile Mind's E-Class (which I highly recommend) that I may have created for myself a false sense of peace. I know it's perfectly fine to be on a tcc break for peace of mind but I also don't want the break to create this false peace of mind either. Which is why I was even torn for us to try giving it a try this time.

The mind games we play with ourselves!!! Please let me keep the peace I've recently created as I journey through these 2 weeks ahead and try to balance this 5% of hope that's dangling around...


  1. 5% hope is OK... I'm going to throw a little extra hope your way though!

  2. It is so hard to balance the hope! I'll be praying with you for peace!